I Am Human
Oh so many, now which one? -->
  • Who Am I?
  • Blogging My Life
  • Campaign 2019
  • Westminster, SC
  • Carl Noe (1916-2009)
  • Signs And Opinion
  • Justice for MEN!!! DNA... ?

"It Is Okay, Not to be Okay!"

26/9/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
If you click on the picture it will bring you to their Website.
The Organization called, "Making My Mark," made 3 appearances around Oconee County School District. The 1st appearance on Monday, September 23rd and was held at Walhalla High School at 6 pm in the Auditorium (I attended that one). The 2nd appearance on Tuesday, September 24th and it was held at Seneca High School at 6 pm (I was not able to attend that one). Finally, the 3rd one was September 26th and was held at West-Oak Middle School in the Gym at 6 pm (I attended this one as well). <I have information for Walhalla and Westminster, but do not have Seneca's. If you have that will you please share that information as well?>

Please forgive me if I am not correct in some of the things that I think that I understood about, "Making My Mark." If I am understanding correctly this is the 1st time that they held events like this for the community. From my understanding they have spoke to groups, churches, etc.. But, the 1st time they have spoken inside the schools.

Let me 1st begin by explaining, "Making My Mark." Making My Mark started when Mr. & Mrs. Dunlap lost their son to Suicide. The reason that Mr. Dunlap wanted to start talking about it was because he did not want other people to have to go through what they went through and still going through. To bring awareness of the signs that someone you may know is suicidal. Mark Evan Dunlap was born July 26, 1987 and he took his life on February 23, 2015.

Let me do an introduction of the people on the above picture. Starting from Left to the Right: Lisa Simmons (SDOC = School District Oconee County Assistant Superintendent of Instruction), Eddie Adams (Father), Miranda (I believe that is her name and I believe she works in counseling between Walhalla and Seneca), Stacy Frick (Daughter), Lisa Martin (Mother), Hal Dunlap (Father and Founder of Making My Mark), and Christy Hubbard (Mother). **Please feel free to make a comment if any of this information is incorrect and apologize ahead of time.**

First I would like to tell this group thank you so much for sharing your stories. I know that it was not easy to share and commend you for doing whatever it takes to help others, even if it means to continue to open your wound of pain.

Christy Hubbard is the mother of "Clay" Clayton Adam Porter. Clay was born on July 31, 1998 and took his own life on September 22, 2018. Christy explained that her son was an outgoing person and that he was that friend that everyone could come to if they needed someone. Tears streaming down her face, Christy continued to say that she noticed things beginning to change with Clay when he was prescribed Adderall. Clay became more quiet and withdrawn she explained. Although it can not be proven Christy believes that Adderall is what led Clay to take his own life. She asked the audience to please look up the side effects of Adderall. This week was a challenge for Christy because it was a year ago.

Lisa Martin is the mother of Andrew James Martin. Andrew was born on February 26, 1999 and took his own life on May 7, 2018. Lisa shared that Andrew was born in Europe and they adopted him when he was 8 years of age. She said that Andrew had a very bad past of abandonment, physical, and emotional abuse his first of his childhood. Andrew had went to counseling, diagnosed with PSTD, and went threw the treatment plan and finished counseling. As Lisa continued she stated that she did not know what happened. That the Andrew that was the outgoing young man, turned to very quiet and withdrawn.

Ms. Martin stated that there was a time when her son, Andrew came downstairs and told her that he thinks that he made a mistake. He had tried to take his own life. They took him to a facility and he was admitted and after just a week they released him to go home. Even though Andrew's parents did not think that he was ready to come home and even told the doctors that, with Andrew being 19 years old, they did not have a say. The hospital released him. (I am uncertain the time frame between then and when he took his life).. As Ms. Martin fought the tears, some escaping, her voice choking..

Ms. Martin explains how she hugged him that morning and even though he told her that he loved her that morning.. she did not know the signs that could of saved his life. She came home to find her son in their backyard.

Stacy Frick is a daughter, however she had a different story. She shared that her mother has Bipolar Disorder, also known as manic depressive disorder. Ms. Frick gives an example of her being a teenager, just 14 years old and her little brother that was 12 years old at the time. Whenever her father was late, her mother would assume that he was out cheating and go into these manic states. This particular time, she had a gun and even shot it twice.

Understand this.. Ms. Frick was explaining it as a daughter of a mother, that was constantly saying, I would be better off dead.. If I were dead... etc what it does to someone emotionally. Ms. Frick states that her mother is doing a lot better. She is on medication and has been in and out mental hospitals. 

Eddie Adams is a father. Mr. Adams began his speech at West-Oak Middle by saying, Hello my name is Eddie and I have severe depression. Then he proceeded to say, that the reaction that most would have is totally different then if he had said, Hello my name is Eddie and I am addicted to drugs and alcohol. Mr. Adams at Walhalla started off by reading some of his journal entries. Eddie is the father of 2 teenage boys.

Mr. Adams explained that his father committed suicide in October of 2006. Yes, he states that his father was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. However, that is maybe one of the reasons he took his own life, but another reason was because his father never dealt with his father taking his own life in 1976. That is correct. Mr. Adam's father and grandfather took their own life. 

Mr. Adams explains that even though he was doing really well (what people can see).. inside his head he could not control that situation. Therefore, in 2014 Mr. Adams went out west and committed himself to a facility for 30 days to get help. He states that no one really knew where he went that most thought that he went on a vacation somewhere. However, that he is thankful that he did go and stuck it out. Because he states that on December 27, 2016 his wife died of cancer.

Mr. Adams explains that yes it was a struggle. However, with the tools that he learned at the facility he was able to handle his thoughts and because of him getting himself help he truly believes that is the reason that his 2 teenage boys have their father today. He is certain that without that help he wouldn't be here today. There is help out here he states and urges people to seek the help to take care of themselves.

**These are their stories.. and even though these stories were very difficult for them to share, I witnessed (Including myself) many wiping their tears away and I hope that the tears that I saw being wiped away that these teen-agers and adults will share what they have learned and what they learned for themselves from the speeches given.**
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now let's cover some information that the schools are doing here in Oconee County.

There is a program that all elementary schools are participating in and only Walhalla Middle School. It is called: OLWEUS: "The Olweus Bullying Prevention Program is designed to improve peer relations and make schools safer, more positive places for students to learn and develop... reducing existing bullying problems among students, preventing the development of new bullying problems. achieving better peer relations at school.

What is Social Emotional Learning (SEL)? According to http://sanfordharmony.org states, "Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary for being a healthy adult. This includes problem-solving skills, as well as teaching kids to embrace diversity and build healthy relationships that will last well into adulthood."

These are the programs that Oconee School District have implemented:

Another program that Oconee District has is called, BARK Bark is a software program that flag words that are typed on devices that are connected to the district network. I also went online to find out about this and this is also offered to parents for a fee. Bark can monitor text messages, YouTube, E-mails, and 24 different Social networks for potential safety concerns. According to Bark's website: http://bark.us  it states they are "In partnership with parents and schools. 3.6 million children protected. 16 school shootings prevented. 20 thousand severe self-harm situations detected."

At Seneca Middle School they have a program that they are using called: "Second Step." According to: http://secondstep.org  Second Step is a program rooted in social-emotional learning (SEL) that helps transform schools into supportive, successful learning environments uniquely equipped to encourage children to thrive. Second Step's holistic approach helps create a more empathetic society by providing education professionals, families, and larger community with tools to enable them to take an active role in the social-emotional growth and safety of today's children.

At West-Oak Middle School they are piloting the 1st year a program called: "Choose Love." According to Scarlett Lewis, Founder of the Jessie Lewis Choose Love Movement she states this: "Although we can't always choose what happens to us, we can always choose how to respond. Children can learn to choose a loving thought over an angry one. When a child realizes that they have the power to positively impact themselves as well as those around them, it is empowering and perpetuates their positive actions and interactions." Choose Love focuses on 4 characteristics: Courage, Gratitude, Forgiveness, and Compassion.

At James M. Brown Elementary they are using a program called: "Sanford Harmony." Their themes are: Diversity & Inclusion, Empathy & Critical Thinking, Communication, Problem Solving, and Peer Relationships.
____________________________________________________________

I do realize that this is a very long blog with a lot of information. I am including pictures of the slideshow they had given during their presentations. However, I am a supporter in being a foot soldier spreading the word around as much as I can and I believe if this helps one person out here from ending their life and seeking the help that they need then, "Making My Mark," and it's speakers have made it worth it to them. Please share!

I also, hope that if you have a story, you can put in Comments below that could help change lives, that you will also take a stand as they have done.. and join their crusade in bringing, Suicide Prevention to Not just a month to recognize it.. but a daily issue to help change lives, one at a time.

***Just my ramblings for today***
0 Comments

Life Is a Beautiful Mess

20/9/2019

2 Comments

 
Picture

I have said that this blog is for me to be honest.. always honest. No matter what it might entail or what may have happened. That this blog isn't like the normal blogs with happily ever afters or even a happy ending.. but, this blog would be about my life.. where I am at this moment in my life.. and what I am thinking. Without edits, without rereading it.. without thinking.. just type. My life.. I am Human.

And so.. I am. The last few months have been a whirlwind. Literally!
On July 14, 2019 I stepped down from being a General Manager. Since then I have went to a funeral in Ohio, put my name in the hat for City Council in Westminster, and went to New Hampshire for my husband's 50th graduation reunion. We arrived back home this past Monday the 16th of September. And today, September 20th.. in the year of 2004 my family found out that my brother, Staff Stg. Tony B. Olaes was killed in Afghanistan.

I found myself without any ground under my feet this week. It has been a very difficult week for me to get myself grounded. I feel as though I have been in a blender and it keeps spinning and spinning as my life is chopped up in bits and pieces. Or maybe just a puzzle with all the pieces scattered around and I am trying to figure what piece goes with what piece. And the thing of it is.. the people that I thought really cared or loved me doesn't.. and those that I didn't think that they cared or loved me.. do. It is part of a season in my life that I am sure goes with everyone's life at one point or another. Because that is what I have found that life is.. just a bunch of seasons.. never knowing what that season may or may not bring.

The way back from Ohio my daughter, Katarina and I had been talking a lot. Death seems to do that to people. Has us talking about life and what life may or may not mean. And she did ask about my father etc... I had thought about it and then I said I don't have any regrets about anything. I live my life without regrets. The only thing that I found myself thinking was how sad I would be if my father did die. Why? People would ask me.. Well...

Because he is my father. If my father died then there would be a finality of it all. There would never be the opportunity of him coming to me and telling me how sorry he was and how he wants to be part of my life.. there would never be that opportunity for him to tell me that I am his little girl and that he loves me and that he is sorry for hurting me. Then there would be no opportunity for him to say that he loves me.. If my father died there would be a finality to it all and in that finality it wouldn't be me mourning over him... it would be me mourning of the dreams that I would of liked to have one day with him.. it would be mourning for the hopes that he would want that.. It would be the finality of that it is over and now there never would be a chance for that to happen because he would be gone. It would be mourning because him growing to an old age didn't change him and that he didn't have remorse for anything he had done to me. It would be mourning for that dream of one day he would love me.. 

Then as I went to Vince's 50th graduation reunion and some of his family had a get together for us.. It made me think even more. I realize that many of us do stand outside the window and we look in.. we truly don't know what happens behind close doors, but what we observe looking in is something that we all long for.

I don't have a big family. Or technically I really do. But, because of what happened with my father and because I blew the whistle on my father, I became the black sheep of the family. There isn't any family gatherings or traditional memories that I carry over from being small.

Fear set in when I went to see my daughter's grave on Friday the 13th. I know that I can't visit her as much as I would like to, but there was so many other children/babies graves there that wasn't there before and I somehow thought that maybe she had been moved up so they could bury more children there. However, on Monday when I spoke to St. Mary's, they assured me that she hasn't been moved. But, with the weather that it is in Lynn, that there was some reports of the babies graves sinking in.. and they have had to fill it in, but Teleaitha was not nor would she be moved without my permission.

Yes, even though this put my mind at ease.. it still knocked me off my feet and the emotions that come with it from losing a child. I would never, ever wish a death of a child on anyone.. including if I had any enemies. That is a pain I would never wish upon anyone, ever.

So, yes.. this week being home.. I have had a self-pity party for myself. I have felt the loneliness of not having a big family, but being thankful for those that I have in my home. I have felt the lost of wishing that I could have big cook outs and family gatherings as I saw with Vince's family this past week. I have felt angry that it was taken from me.. not by my choice, but the choice of my father's and those that continue to believe that I asked for it and wanted him to rape me night after night and day after day.

I have felt sorry for myself that I didn't have those things today. No big cook outs, no big family gatherings, no big reunions, no traditions to continue.. I have felt sorry that I didn't have those things that I could give my children and their children... and so.. yes this week I withdrew from everyone and everything and had a wallow in shit week for me.. 

and for that only I APOLOGIZE.

Because today I woke from the shit and knew that something had to be done. That I can't continue to feel sorry for me... I have so much to be thankful for. I have my husband and my children that are involved in my life. I have my grandchildren. I have a home and a city that I love so much. I have my health even though may be hard at times, I am still able to walk without a cane (unless weather is really horrible) and I have been treatment free for some time now. And I have been accepted in my husband's family and they treat me as I have always been part of their lives.

We all have our crosses to bear. And we have all wallowed in self pity from time to time and you know what??? That is okay. I have realized me being a woman that is even more okay to do so. It is a matter of what we continue to do with our crosses. We can continue to wallow in it.. or we can pick ourselves up from the boot straps and be thankful for the path and the season we are in, right now.. today.

Because at the end of the day.. that is what matters.. is today. Now.. but these past moments are what continues to mold me into the woman that I am today. Those moments are the ones that make me a stronger woman and a determined woman. These moments help me to help others that might be going through things that I have. These moments are what helps define me into who I become. And these moments... I have no regrets and I am truly.. truly thankful for. Because these moments are what makes my "Life a Beautiful Mess."

**Just saying.. my thoughts**

2 Comments
<<Previous

    Theresa Olaes-Noe

    Learning about who I am without all the gizmo's and gadgets.. Just as I am.. today, right now, this moment.. Real, Honest, and Bluntly Truthful

    ILLEGAL
    The pictures of this website belong to me. I have taken these pictures. Remember the are copyrighted. It is stealing and you could be prosecuted to the fullest amount the law will allow.

    History of Thoughts and Ramblings!!!

    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    October 2016
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    June 2013
    April 2013
    September 2012
    August 2011



Copyright 1990-3000
Illegal to copy any of the pictures, information, or blogs.
E-Mail Me