One of the Reasons my heart beats...
This picture is Sabrina (Elijah's Fiance) and of course, my youngest son, Elijah.
Tonight Vincent (his daddy) and I took them out to eat to Texas Roadhouse in Anderson. If you haven't been there before this is a must place to try out. But, make sure that you call in advanced to get a reservation it is a hopping place. (Sorry, way off the subject here). So.. moving forward...
Tonight Vincent and I took Elijah and
But, in reality it was in some sort of way, "Their last meal." My son, Elijah has decided with Sabrina that they want to go and explore the United States. I mean, those that have travelled like I have, even have been homeless because of the get up and go for many reasons, knows exactly what this is like. Who in their crazy mind hasn't, at one point or another, have thought about, "Let's just go."
I mean Vince and I did it.. have been homeless.. have travelled the road of wanting to find out where we wanted to settle down and where we would want to build our final roots. We have moved many times.. of course ultimately always leading us back home to South Carolina.. and eventually back to Westminster where we have been and have settled down in the community.
However, that was Vince and I.. now with the same motives pretty much in their minds they want to do the same thing.. yet, here I have a heavy pit in my stomach thinking, "Why, what on earth are they thinking?" They have everything here that they possibly could need.. a city only a hour away, lakes, rivers, hiking, camping, waterfalls, restaurants, country life, fishing, etc.. so why????" Can one explain this to me????
I am laughing of course.. I know how this all sounds.. and yes, I am aware of why it sounds this way. But, as always I have always told you guys when I blog that I will always be honest about the real and the now of what I am feeling even if I ramble on and on and on. :0) So, yes I know how crazy I am sounding!
Yet, isn't it true if you were me not to feel the same way? I mean, we want what is best for our children and we always want them to be better and accomplish more than we ever have been. We want to make sure that we make the path as easy as possible for them. And we surely don't want them to face life challenges and heartaches that will come their way if they make certain choices.
Predict the future for them.. that they are just going to go.. no real plan in mind.. but just go.. sold everything that they pretty much have and take only what they need. Can I predict that they might end up homeless or that they might actually fall in love with another area and never come back here to even consider Westminster their home? (I mean really we all want our children close to us don't we)??
Just because I can't predict what may happen to them (Understand that they both know that no matter where they are.. they have a home here to come back to and we are only a phone call away).. so yes this gives them and me a sense of relief knowing they have here to fall back into if they get into any bad situation no matter where they are..... So...
Just because I can't predict what they will run into out there in this big world of the United States.. and just because I can't have him come by here really quick so I can see him for a little while and visit with me.. or hang out with Sabrina.. It did make me "feel" like it was a "last meal," with them tonight.. and my heart is heavy..
And my heart is heavy for this and for this reason only.. He is my son... my youngest child.. my baby.. in whom I love with all my heart and soul.. and I suppose as most would call it "empty nest syndrome" even though I have other people in my home.. It will be miss seeing him almost on a daily basis.. to... I don't know when I will be able to tangibly touch him with a hug and know he is safe.. and it will depend on phone communications and pictures that Sabrina or him sends me and keeping me updated.
So, yes.. my heart is heavy even though I am excited that they aren't conformed to what "Society" thinks they should be doing.. they are going to be free.. explore the roads ahead of them and experience life in many ways that a lot wish they could have done themselves..
And for that reason I am a proud of them.. and I am proud that Elijah is able to stand up on his own and not worry about me or the rest of the family.. but he is able to still be sweet and loving and thoughtful.. but make decisions about what he would like for his life and his future.. and to explore a world beyond here.
I love you, Elijah and Sabrina! And Sabrina please take care of my son and take lots of pictures!
*Just my thoughts*